Monday, December 5, 2016

Convos with Hadley, my Goddaughter!

I'm overdue for a post, I know. I didn't keep to my monthly commitment and I'm sure I am not the only one who had a crazy November so I won't use that as an excuse. I'll just promise you that there are pictures of the most perfect baby in this post and hope that you will forgive me.

My November started out in the most wonderful way possible. I got home after a long day of both school and work to a little envelope on my bed. It was addressed to me in Kelley's unmistakable handwriting. I immediately tried to remember what gift I had given her that warranted a thank you (Kelley has always been on top of thank you notes). Little did I know that inside the envelope was a gift for me! Hadley personally asked me to be her Godmother! I immediately started crying, with no one to hug because it was close to midnight and my parents were long asleep.

I am not a big crier, but this little girl has my heart. Since our alone time in the NICU, while Kelley and Matt caught up on sleep, to the conversations we've had snuggling on the couch, I have tried and failed to convey how much love I have for her. Hadley will never know, but I won't stop trying to tell her what she means to me, her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles (both literal and figurative). It is my privilege to be her godmother and make sure that not a day goes by where she doesn't know she is loved.

Two days later, I woke up in a panic. I read my CNN updates and I immediately thought of my sweet Goddaughter. I went into my parent's room and cried in my mother's arms because I didn't know what else to do. I, along with many other men and women, walked through that day numb to whatever came our way.

A month later, I realize that having Trump as president is our new reality as a country. It has been a rough month, but I came across a quote that stuck with me. I have shared it on Facebook and with friends and family and received mixed feedback.

"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." -Audre Lorde

I want to be clear in saying that I do not condone, accept or celebrate any act of oppression, hate or bigotry. This quote, however, helps me to realize that a person who is different or opposite of me does not necessarily approve of those things either. Sure, there are racists and bigots out there. Believe me, I am working damn hard to decrease the amount of ignorance in the world, but I don't want to condone hate or exclusion on my end because of what a person calls themselves. I don't want Hadley to grow up thinking that because a person is opposite of her, they are bad or wrong.

I had a talk with Hadley the other day about God. Not the first, and most certainly not the last. I talked about how God created her exactly how He imagined, and that He has plans for her that she, nor I, know about. I encouraged her to wake up every morning, thanking God for another day in His creation, just as I do.

I don't know what the future holds for my dear Goddaughter, but I do know that it will be filled with love and many more conversations. I admit, these last few months the conversations have been a little one-sided, so I cannot wait to hear her input in the future.

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