Thursday, October 17, 2013

Catching up during a tough semester

Did you think I forgot about my blog?? To be honest I did for a little while. This semester has been Crazy...yes with a capital C. I have really missed this blog, and I feel really guilty right now for not having a cup of coffee by my side, but I figure I will be forgiven.

It's around this time of the year that I really start feeling God's presence. The crisp air, the beautiful changing colors of Fall, I figure it'd be appropriate to blog tonight on this cozy fall night.

Let me catch you up since I have neglected this blog for so long. I entered my senior year here at Arkansas with high hopes for a great year, excited for my sister Kelley to be getting married, excited for my best friend to study abroad in Africa, excited for a new roommate and new experiences. All of those things I continue to be excited about, I guess though with such high hopes I didn't expect a few lows to hit. This may be the hardest semester I've had here, hence why I haven't really blogged much because it's hard to put into words.

Within about a month, I had two friends lose a parent. On top of that I'm enrolled in a class called "On Death and Dying"-needless to say I am using personal experience in that class. It's been hard. Really hard, I hurt for them more than I ever imagined I would. I praise God for the community each friend has around them, for the prayers they are receiving constantly, but I always wish I could do more than pray. I caught myself asking God what else I could do because I didn't feel like I was doing enough. What I am realizing is that I am doing plenty, because God is working on their side. He is there for them, in their hearts, their thoughts, He is making sure they are okay. That's all I can ask for because God's support is enough.

What has brought me so much joy this semester has been the preparation and celebration of Kelley and Matt's wedding last weekend. I don't know exactly how Kelley and Matt feel about how it all went down, but I thought the day and night was perfect. Just perfect. I can't thank God enough for bringing together two people (two families) more perfect and worthy of each other. If their wedding was any sign of how their marriage will be it will be fun, happy, and full of surprises! I can't wait to see where their marriage takes them!

School is hard. Classes are really hard. I've been sick for about a month now(Mono-never fun) so it's been really hard to stay motivated and determined. I have been praying and asking for prayers for motivation and patience through all this, I know I will be healthy soon but I am just frustrated that I still don't feel like 'me' after so long.

With all this being said, I am SO excited to see where God takes me from here. I had a conversation about life with my wonderful professor Dr. A(whom I have spoken of on this blog many times before!) today that told me I needed to "have a little faith" in the next year. As excited as I am I catch myself getting a little anxious(me? anxious you say?) about the future. I like a plan as we all know and I am trying to turn the anxiety into excitement. God has blessed me with more than I could ever thank Him for in the past year despite all the low points of the semester, I am still finding myself praising His name each day. Especially on beautiful Fall nights.

This semester God has truly made his presence known more than I can remember him ever doing...or maybe I'm just more aware now. Either way, I like the direction He has put me in, I just have to keep "having a little faith".

1 comment:

  1. We must let go of the life we have planned,
    so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
    -Joseph Campbell
    I am glad you took some time out for yourself to release some of your thoughts and feelings, despite your hard and busy year!
    I have missed your blog :)
    XO, alice